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Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/12/update-im-afraid-of-flying-and-my-job-requires-a-lot-of-travel.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=35003

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

Remember the letter-writer who was afraid of flying and and their job required a lot of travel? Here’s the update.

Many commenters wondered why friends, family and mentors recommended I accept the new job. Despite the travel, it had clear benefits over my prior position. To name a few, I would be paid about $17k more base salary, would have a 5% bigger bonus, a better title, more responsibilities and I’d be fully remote. I had also declined another offer that had similar compensation but would’ve required three days in office with an hour commute each way.

I also couldn’t stay at my old job — my last year there I was unceremoniously dumped with a new manager who would jokingly call me “bitch” and once pulled me into her office and pulled her pants to her pantyline to show me her recent procedural bruising. This was on top of the manager before that stating I’d get a promotion if I went above and beyond for a year (clear metrics given) and then telling me at my performance review that not only was I not getting a promotion, he honestly didn’t see my work as valuable. That was a BIG surprise since I had weekly check-ins where I’d ask about how I was progressing. I’d also found out that the leadership team didn’t regard me positively following the promotion conversation. I’d moved into a new role internally with a manager I really liked and respected by the end of that year, but at that point I had some “bad habits” that were very hard to break that prior managers had not mentioned to me.

Given the short amount of time I was provided to respond to the offer and the late notice by which I was alerted that the travel requirement was once per month, they were attempting to provide advice in my best interest. I think they were also cautiously optimistic that my travel anxiety would dissipate as I traveled more, and it would be a momentary bump in the road.

I’m now eight months into role (around six to eight work trips completed), and my flight anxiety hasn’t gotten much better. I ended up having a conversation with my manager about not traveling for a few months, which they accepted but with the caveat that I’d need to figure out strategies to show up more often in the future. I’m still exploring what options are possible, but I tried medication and did CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) with a therapist. This has largely restricted my anxiety to the day I purchase my tickets, the week leading up to the flight, and my time on the plane (I know that’s still a lot but it used to be so much worse!). I haven’t tried driving yet, but that’s the next avenue to explore. Ultimately I’ve had to confront what being a non-traveler means for this role and my future career, and the limitations it’ll impose. I still plan to work on this because it has implications for my life more broadly, but in the interim I’ve renewed my job search and am looking at remote positions where HQ is located in my state or adjacent states and is capable of being reached by car in 3.5 hours or less. While this restricts many opportunities, I’m still finding roles that meet the criteria.

Outside of the travel, my relationships with my team and manager have gotten much better! I really like the day to day of the job and my boss thinks I’m doing very well. I also think the work trips I’ve taken so far have been necessary to build the relationships and organizational acumen needed for the role. Being remote has also cured me of my prior burnout! I’ve had so much more time (and money) to pour into my personal life. I’m happier and less anxious now than I was in my prior role. While this job won’t work out in the long run, I’m glad I took it. I’m getting valuable experience and feedback that will set me up nicely for future roles.

Thanks again for the advice!

The post update: I’m afraid of flying — and my job requires a lot of travel appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/12/update-im-afraid-of-flying-and-my-job-requires-a-lot-of-travel.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=35003

Posted by Ask a Manager

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/12/update-do-i-have-to-share-my-story-on-a-women-in-industry-panel.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34689

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer asking whether she had to share her story on a “women in industry” panel? Here’s the update.

So … I ended up doing the panel. I talked to multiple trusted women at work and outside of work, who almost always encouraged me to do it, even if just for the experience and to showcase myself. For what it’s worth (now that the panel is over), I work in the construction industry as a superintendent. My job is to organize the logistics, schedule, trades, safety, handle crisis management, and quality control of an entire 50+million dollar project. It is a role that is not popular compared to management, and comes with long hours and lots of dirt. I love it!

Thankfully, during the practice for the panel, the leaders realized they had too many people with too many questions, so I was assigned to answer only three of the nearly 20 questions they wanted to ask. I was able to answer my assigned questions by keeping to the facts and using points that would be beneficial to most people, not just women, which is what I was comfortable with.

According to my project team and close coworkers, I rocked the panel and looked cool and confident. According to my smart watch and heartbeat, I had consumed a gallon of caffeine and was being chased by a werewolf for an hour. For the entire virtual panel, I had to sit on my hands to prevent them from shaking. Clearly panels about my experience are not my forte.

In other news, I got much more involved in our intern program this summer (I myself being a previous intern) and determined that I am much more comfortable teaching than sharing my personal story. I taught a few different classes to the interns, and I am proud to say I was voted “Best Mentor” this summer. I’m ready to help grow the next generation of industry leaders, and if there are any women (or men) who are interested in my role, they are more than welcome to ask me questions directly.

The future me may say otherwise, but present me says she will decline any future panel requests.

If you want to include them, these are very basic summaries of the questions I ended up answering…

• What are key strategies you use that make you successful? (Generally, be self-aware of your own struggles and find ways to mitigate them. I don’t trust my brain to be perfect so I set myself up for success. I set alarms for meetings because I get sidetracked, and always keep a big note pad with me because I field questions and solve problems all day.)
• How has a relationship with a mentor impacted your career? (I spoke about a teacher who taught me about this industry and encouraged me to get a related college degree!)
• What do you wish the industry as a whole could do better for women? (I wish the industry had as much variety in gear for women as there are men. I have to get harnesses, vests, and gloves special ordered because women’s XS isn’t kept in stock. I will say, it’s interesting that within the week of the panel there were more sizes available on our internal ordering site!)

I know people may have problems with how I answered these, but my answers won’t be applicable or helpful to everyone because they are about me and my experiences, and it is what I was comfortable sharing in a large group.

The post update: do I have to share my story on a “women in industry” panel? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

https://www.askamanager.org/2025/12/update-do-i-have-to-share-my-story-on-a-women-in-industry-panel.html

https://www.askamanager.org/?p=34689